I\’m always amazed when my openness about vibrator-use is met with skepticism, judgement or shame. There are loads of misconceptions floating around when it comes to sex, but especially when it comes to vibrator use (like wondering if I can get addicted to my vibrator). Vibrators are a fun way to spice up any relationship and aren\’t only for solo use-partners can enjoy the benefit of vibrators as well! Here\’s 5 common misconceptions about vibrators that I hear the most often:
1. YOU WILL GET ADDICTED TO IT
I mean, maybe? This hasn\’t been my experience or the experience of anyone I know, but I\’m sure there\’s someone out there with a vibrator addiction. To which I ask the follow up question…so what? Lots of people are addicted to coffee, to sugar, and to all sorts of other substances and being addicted to a vibrator and orgasms generally doesn\’t hurt anyone so….
As Heidegger explains, vibrator addiction is virtually impossible. I know that we all may have different cultural or personal views about using sex toys, she says, but the fact of the matter is that there is no empirical data to support the claim that you can become physiologically or biologically addicted to a sex toy. Vanessa Marin, sex therapist and founder of Finishing School, an online orgasm course for women, agrees that there\’s way too much fear-mongering out there when it comes to vibrators. Marin adds, Here\’s the bottom line—you can\’t get \’addicted\’ to a vibrator. It won\’t ruin your vagina. And there are very few people who would choose a piece of silicone over a living, breathing partner.
Which leads perfectly into my next statement:
2. YOU WON\’T WANT TO HAVE SEX ANYMORE
Last time I checked, my vibrator just couldn\’t meet all of my sexual needs. I am a complex creature, and until they invent a vibrator that can also pull my hair and spank me while talking in my ear, I\’m going to want to keep having sex with my husband. Also, did you know vibrators aren\’t just for solo use? Lots of vibrators (including this one from Smilemakers) is perfect for partnered sex as well!
To be fair, if someone is accustomed to sex with partners who (through no fault of her own) don\’t care much either way if she has an orgasm, then using a vibrator can absolutely feel like magic, or too good to be true. According to Marin, if you use your vibrator for all of your orgasms, it can also be easy to get accustomed to vibrator-induced orgasms. Since orgasming with a vibrator can be pretty easy for many women, you might get bored or frustrated trying to orgasm in other ways. She adds, There isn\’t a similar amount of panic about male sex toys, but I do give men the same 50 percent advice. A lot of men masturbate with the \’death grip,\’ or using a very specific technique that\’s hard to replicate with a partner.
3. YOU WON\’T BE ABLE TO ORGASM ANY OTHER WAY AFTER YOU USE ONE
This also hasn\’t been my experience. Vibrators do not suddenly mean you cannot experience pleasure, arousal or orgasm with anything other than a vibrating sensation. HOWEVER if all you\’ve ever known is vibrational stimulation, you’re going to have a tough time teaching a partner how to get you off with his or her fingers, because you won\’t know how to do it yourself.
According to Dr. Jess O’ Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, women don’t need to be afraid or something that brings them great pleasure for fear we won’t be able to have an orgasm without a device that needs batteries. “There is no evidence suggesting that women become ‘addicted’ to their vibrators,” she explained. “You may prefer using a vibrator or find that reaching orgasm is more likely when you use one, but this does not mean you’re addicted.”
As O’Reilly mentioned, each body is different, and if you require vibrators to reach orgasm, this is simply an indication of your specific needs, and it’s totally fine. “Orgasm is not the only measure of pleasure — you can derive all sorts of pleasure from other activities (kissing, stroking, touching, fingering, oral, etc.) and turn to your vibe for orgasm without any concern that you’re addicted,” she added.
4. YOU \’NEED\’ IT
I love when I mention using a vibrator, in any capacity and I\’m immediately met with Oh, I don\’t NEED anything like that. No one was implying that you NEED a vibrator and what if you did?? How alienating is that? Can we just be nice? Can we just be curious? Honestly. Anyway, need or no need, vibrators are fun and a great way to spice things up, get out of a rut, or just try something new. Vibrators are not only for solo use and are a great way to explore new sensations, before, during or after intercourse or just as it\’s own act, with or without a partner!
5. THEY DETRACT FROM A RELATIONSHIP
I hope this isn\’t the case. It hasn\’t been the case in my relationship, but we also use vibrators as a fun supplement to a healthy sex life. I would never advocate hiding or lying to your partner about ANY part of your relationship and vibrators are a part of that. If you\’ve never tried toys and it\’s something you\’re interested in, talk to your partner about it.
What myths and misconceptions have you heard about when it comes to vibrators? I want to hear about it! Comment below: