I am so excited for today\’s podcast interview with Cameron Glover and I\’m just going to let her just dive in and tell us about what she does.
Thank you so much for having me on. I\’m so excited. I\’ve been a fan of just like everything you\’re doing for a really long time. So this is awesome. So my name is Cameron. I am a black queer writer turned sex educator. And I also podcast. I like to say I\’m a very busy millennial because I pretty much do too many things online.
That\’s awesome. So tell me a little bit about your background. How did you get into this? How did you get started? What was your education? Tell us all the things.
Yes. So I feel like everyone always says by accident. And I\’m just like, yep, that\’s exactly how I got into this. So my background is actually in writing. I studied literature in college and totally thought I was gonna be a journalist and maybe a professor or something. But I totally thought I was just going to go like just the writing route and not really venture into any other niches. And I was doing freelance writing for a while and I still am, but I was getting more interested in doing stories, covering more specific communities and cultures. And I just naturally found myself doing a lot more writing on sex in particular. And I\’m a naturally curious person, I think, and a lot of what guides me in my personal and my professional life is asking questions. Questions just naturally pop up and I want to see where it leads. So as I was doing this writing, I was kind of like, all right, I\’m noticing some obvious gaps in the field and just feeling like, you know, how can I fill in those gaps and then recognizing that I don\’t want to wait for other people to do that when I feel like I can do it myself. So that kind of sparked this little idea that I could be a sex educator. Let me see, like what\’s available and how I could do that. So I ended up finding a certification program doing that. And I\’m almost done. I\’m really excited. And yeah, I just feel like I haven\’t stopped looking since then. The entire time I\’ve been in the sex education field, I feel like I\’ve just forge my own path. So just again, leading with that curiosity in what is missing and how can I actually fill in those gaps for folks? So now what I like to say is I do work with folks and I do workshops and like group like in-person things that I like to bring in a social justice lens to talking about sex education. So I like to say, I\’m not really the how-to kind of person. I won\’t tell you how to do certain things. But I like talking about the larger, nuanced conversations of identity and culture and how these outside things connect to sex and giving people the tools to make their own decisions. But I\’ve recently switched my focus. So now I\’m veering in on the business side and supporting others sexuality professionals with creating digital products and online based businesses. So yeah, I do a lot.
You do a lot! Two things that I absolutely love about this idea of leading with curiosity, you know, kind of setting aside like judgments or or concerns or I don\’t know. And just leading. We\’re just curious. Just being curious. I just feel like that\’s such a good way to go into your own sexuality and learning more. I also try to avoid some of the how-to because I feel like we\’re so that if you want a how to, you can Google that. I just recently read an article about sex during pregnancy. Everything read like a how-to. Like here\’s the positions you can do. And I was like, you don\’t need that. You don\’t need any more of that information. We need a better understanding of following pleasure and why it\’s great to have sex while you\’re pregnant. And you know, more of that. So I love I love that you\’re getting to the root. Yes. And I\’m also I don\’t know if you\’re into astrology. I\’m a Pisces.
So I\’m a very like feelings based person. OK, so you understand. Yes. Right. I think that\’s also another reason why the how-to aspect of sex education doesn\’t appeal to me, because that seems very clinical to me. And I like exploring feelings part of it. I like diving into the why? Like, why are people in this? Like, how does this make you feel? How do you want to be feeling like that is the part of sex ed that I naturally gravitate towards. So, I love that I get to do that every day.
Absolute same. Back to being curious! You know, for a box like I don\’t need to be boxed into a box. I want the depth and the breadth of the whole thing. I want the room.
Also I know it goes on. It\’s also so fascinating to me that even if you have a roomful of people that are into the same thing. So like if you have a room of folks that are talking about like sex during pregnancy, right. You\’re gonna have so many different perspectives when you bring in this, like how does that individually make you feel? And bringing in that curiosity and like giving folks the space to do that. I think sometimes, like, folks feel like they need permission to dove in word as well.
Amen! It\’s interesting to me, the longer I\’ve been doing the vagina blog, the more I\’m realizing how much everyone feels like they need permission. You brought that up and I feel like I\’m constantly giving people permission. I think the work that we\’re both doing is a lot of normalizing and validating. Everyone just wants to hear that they\’re completely normal. But what is normal at all? Find out what\’s normal for you.
Yeah. It\’s funny because in September I was doing a lot of traveling and a lot of in-person events and stuff. And I had a lot of people tell me that I was a healer, which I thought was really interesting because when I think of like healing, I think of specifically ties to spirituality. Right. I think of tarot and like witchcraft based work. Hearing that you are a healer because you are a sex educator that felt really powerful to me as well. So I think that\’s also part of it too. A lot of the work that we do, we are at the forefront of liberation and I truly believe that we are at the forefront of healing these deep rooted, very large things that people carry around with their lives. I don\’t know how many times someone has told me something that they haven\’t told anyone. Decades of shame and guilt like this is very serious work. I think that the perception is that it\’s all fun and games. I don\’t know what I\’m hoping, but like sex investigators, they were just like at home having sex all the time and like we\’ve got her like bags and all those and it\’s all my games.
I mean, I totally get some of that, but it really is. Sometimes it\’s hearing people\’s deepest, darkest secrets and then unpackaging them and pointing in the right direction to try and and find help.
Even if someone is just like, how do I have an orgasm? Like, it\’s never really about the orgasm. It\’s about all these other things that are impacting and coming in the way of getting to this place where we feel like we can access that and also like shifting our ideas about what that thing is. Right. Like, how do I have an orgasm? How do I have good sex? What does this mean for you?
Well, how do I find myself worthy enough to be in a loving relationship where I could have an orgasm? I mean, that\’s the hard thing – it\’s different for everyone. It\’s different. You\’re absolutely right. It\’s not the orgasm. It\’s everything around it a lot of the time. Because once again, there\’s plenty of how-tos. We need to take it a step deeper. And I love – I feel like our generation is doing such a good job of this. I can\’t wait to see how we continue to move forward with this. Because our kids are gonna know better and they\’re going to teach their kids even about early. This work that we\’re doing is so powerful because we\’re sexual creatures at our core.
And there\’s nothing wrong with that. And there\’s nothing wrong with embracing that in a certain way, like something that I feel like I\’m diving into a lot more. How do I bridge this gap between being a sexuality professional and also allowing myself pleasure in my personal life? And that\’s something I feel like struggling with a lot. Because I feel like I facilitate this healing in these conversations of pleasure for other people that like in my personal life, I feel like in a way I\’ve neglected that, which is very interesting. So it\’s like I feel like I\’m in a process right now kind of rediscovering like, OK, what does this mean for me? How am I going to practice it and also uphold these like personal and professional boundaries and feel like, you know, I can still show up as my best self and all of these spaces.
It\’s like you said, though, I think sometimes when people find out you\’re in any kind of sex education, I get this all the time – sex ed is a portion of the vagina blog, people assume me and your husband are just having fantastic sex all the time. We have no issues whatsoever and issues. We have some great sex, but we sure have plenty of things to work there, just like anybody else.
And I don\’t know anyone that has fantastic sex all the time or anyone that is in a perfect relationship one hundred percent of the time. That\’s just not realistic. It\’s not doable.
We have seasons. We\’ve had seasons of fantastic easy sex and seasons of sadness and other things. And I think especially for those of us with vaginas, we\’re going through pregnancies or going through breastfeeding. We\’re going through all the ups and downs of what happens to your body, you know. So it\’s like it\’s a lot to do and take on. And there\’s a lot of emotional needs there.
So just tell me. Tell us all. Tell us all about Sex Ed!
Yes. Oh, geez, where do I even start? So I guess I can talk a little bit about why I niched down even more in an already niche-like field. I feel like because as I was getting into the sex ed work, I was finding that, you know, I had a lot of questions on the back end. So like, how do I set this up to be a business? Because, like, yes, like all of these things that we mentioned, like at the forefront and at the core of what I do. But at the end of day six, we still live in a capitalist society. And like, I need money to survive and like, do things and continue to do this work. And I no. There\’s absolutely no shame in like acknowledging both of these things. Right. Like, they can coexist. And so I would like, you know, this is cute, like what I\’m doing on Instagram and like a podcast and whatever. But how do I make this sustainable for myself to be able to do this full time? And I was really challenged because a lot of, you know, anybody that\’s listening that\’s in the field will understand. Like there\’s so many additional barriers that we face just by just being in this field with the shadowbanning and like waking up and your account is gone – it\’s like it\’s a mess. But on top of that, too, like I\’m hearing horror stories about like people investing in coaches and business programs and getting kicked out because they\’re in the sexuality field. And just like stuff that\’s just horrible.
And weird instances of people just trying to put shame on you. Yeah. I don\’t know. I don\’t know. I\’m trying to help people and I have helped people. And I promise you, it’s worthy.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it\’s so frustrating. So I was again, leading with that curiosity. Alright, I\’m searching for someone that can help me on the business end of this. If I can\’t find that person, then I\’m going to become that person. So that has kind of led me into the path I\’m on now with creating digital products, because I feel like that is the most accessible way to get this information to my audience. Like it\’s grown exponentially over the last few months, which I\’m so grateful for. It\’s getting to the point where I can\’t answer DMs, or every single email and I want to help as many people as possible. So being able to go into digital products and I no longer have to like physically give this to you, like you can have access to that whenever you\’re ready. That just like it\’s changed the game for me. It\’s been amazing.
I love that. I love, love, love. I think you\’re probably going to talk about them later.
Yes, you should. I love it. I love talking to people on the field about this because I\’m just like, look, we are doing incredible things and we deserve to. Yes. Like not just get paid to do this work because it\’s valuable, but also like, how do we make this so that we can continue to be sustained in this field like the not now and not feel like we have to have like three or five different jobs just to be able to do this work. Right. How can we show up as our best selves for people?
Yes. Yes. All of this.
Tell me about Sex Ed in Color
Sex Ed in Color is my baby. It is my podcast. And I started, actually – oh, my gosh – it\’s been around for a year already! Sex Ed in Color is my second podcast. And it is a show that I host and I talk to other sexually professionals of color about the work that we do and kind of leading by example that there is no one way to be in this field and also that this field is for us, because, again, we are constantly bombarded with messages as black and non-black people of color that this field does not for us. We have to fight for everything. We don\’t have the same access and like, you know, the same same stories that like we are aware of. But I wanted to bring in some positivity and not just have this dark cloud of, you know, we don\’t have equal opportunity. I guess that is true. But also, like, I want to use my platform to highlight the people that I know are doing good work and aren\’t waiting for permission from the old guard to do that work. I\’ve had guests that I\’ve admired since I got into the field that I\’ve been doing this work for decades that know what they\’re talking about, that like even when I got started, this field welcomed me with open arms. So I\’m just in awe about every single person I\’ve had a conversation with already and all the folks and I am going to continue to have a conversation with. And it\’s just great because I learn so much in every single interview that I do. And I love hearing the reactions of folks that listen to the show as well. I get to hear different perspectives and their minds are just like the mind blown emoji, you know? So I love it.
That\’s awesome. That\’s awesome.
As a person of color and being in this field, what hurdles do you feel like you are having to overcome? How do I help?
Yeah. So firstly, I just wanna say, like the easiest way is to, I guess, explain it to a non-black person of color or a white person would just be like all barriers that we already face as sexuality professionals. It\’s ten times harder just because of identity politics and not just because of identity, but also because of access and privilege and all of these long historical things that we have to recognize are still being upheld within the sexuality field as well. So how many companies do we see within the field getting started, which are great, but have absolutely no people of color hired on staff in positions of power to be able to dictate budgets and pay or other people of color? How many people of color do we know that are being undersold? If they\’re getting paid at all, they\’re being paid way less market wage than white folks for doing the same thing. Just like little things that I say little things because just like this is my lived experience. So it feels just super obvious to me. But both like these macro and micro things that consistently uphold the old guard, the old way of doing things. And I think that it\’s important to both recognize that, like this is the history of the field. And we have to acknowledge that in order to move forward. And we also have to be active in dismantling oppression while we\’re fighting for sexual liberation. So like something that I often say is that there can be no sexual liberation if we\’re not dismantling anti blackness, if we\’re not inclusive of racial like identity and dismantling racial injustice because it\’s true and it\’s just it\’s also really frustrating to me, just the ways that folks are still being silenced. When we say that the ways that we can talk and expand upon the ways that folks are harmed by gender, by gender exclusion or disability justice or like all these other things. But as soon as we talk about race is like this resistance that comes. So it\’s really important that folks are just like in general active about all these things, just like how we\’re active about all these other issues that are super important and just as valid and like we should be, you know, reacting in the same way to like we need to have that same energy collectively as a field when it comes to racial justice as well. And integrating that as like this is also part of sexual liberation.
Absolutely. So how do we help?
This is one way of doing it. Have us on a podcast. And I think that it\’s also important to note, too, I talk often about when it comes to a podcast or being a source on articles, things like that. Those are very helpful, non-monetary ways to also uplift and support people of color. When it comes to like bringing folks and recognizing that, A.) We have voices. So you know that that a saying like giving voice to the voiceless. Everybody has a voice. Some people\’s voices are not heard by as many other folks because of access and privilege and all these other things. So like passing the mic is something that I\’ve also heard that is maybe more accurate. So what are ways that you can use your platform to share space with other folks that may not have access to that community or the same, just like access and visibility that you do. So when I talk to like my writer friends, especially my friends and are writing within the sex field, I ask them like, who are you getting free sources? How are you finding your sources? Are you only looking for marginalized folks to talk about their marginalization? Or are you asking them to talk about their expertise? Because those are very different things, too. And it\’s so covert and it\’s so not miniscule, but it\’s so subtle. Right. But it\’s something that makes a huge difference. And like stuff that people pick up on. And in addition to that, of course, like comes down to hiring people of color in the field to do the work and like paying us our market rate. And I think that for others, actual hiring professionals is also includes having more open and regular conversations about what payment looks like and a conversation about like collectively, how can we all get to a point where, like, it\’s not just this person over here is making like, you know, getting paid market value, whatever that is. But like, how can we make this the industry standard? So these are all kind of like little ways that contribute as well as for folks outside the field as well. This could just be like diversifying. We\’re following on social media if you\’re following only white sexuality professionals, maybe it\’s time to look at some new ones and like something that I love you is like if I find someone new and I really enjoy the content that they\’re doing. Regardless, I always like to see who they\’re following because that\’s an easy way to get inspired and see other folks, without necessarily having to be reliant on like asking the person necessarily that they can. Easy, actionable steps that you can take right on the platform.
Well, it comes back to staying curious. Be curious and then follow through with it. I just absolutely love that. I love it. Tell us about your e-book.
Yes. So I\’m so excited because I\’m actually working on my next e-book right now as a recording. Yeah. And I\’m not talking about it just yet, but I\’m really excited. It\’s gonna come up this month, though. So you all are getting. You heard it here first. I\’m really, really excited. So my first e-book is called Becoming a Sexual Pro. And it is a guidebook for written for folks at any level, but especially for folks that are curious or emerging within the field. So just just starting out, I don\’t really like to say, you know, like your new or whatever. I think that there can be some infantilizing language with that. But I love being curious or like being emerging and then also, like, established. So you\’re already like in the field. So this is what I wanted to create. So for folks that are kind of like asking the most frequently asked questions, when you\’re curious about getting into a sexuality, you feel, do I need to get certified? What? Where can I get certified? Do I need a degree? Where can I get a degree? What are some of the options that I can do in this field? You know, like some of the questions, I feel like we all get. I wanted to create just one resource. So like I didn\’t have to again, individually answer all of these responses directly. You can buy the e-book and get all of that, plus you get space within it to kind of like figure out your own path. So my hope is that by the end of reading this e-book, you have the foundation to take an action step today. So whether that looks like, OK, you know, what certification programs you want to look into and you can start researching that, you can start formulating what your social media is going to be that focuses on sexuality like whatever action steps that looks like you have a starting point to actually start. I\’m really excited about that. And again, that\’s like on my website,$29. My favorite part about it is that I\’ve been able to help so many more people than if I was just reliant on talking to everyone individually or, you know, setting stuff up for like in-person events to like it doesn\’t matter where you\’re at. You can get it anytime day, 24 hours a day. And you have the foundation to like get started right now. So I love that.
I love that, too. I could see that too, or it\’s like I\’m answering these same questions over and over again in my DMs and in my email, why not just put it all in one place and then use it? Plus some!
It\’s taught me so much about the business and I work for myself. So there\’s a lot that goes into writing a new book that we can talk about outside of this. But like, it\’s been amazing, too, because it\’s not only detached me from having to be present to like do all these things, and now I feel like I\’m able to do way more. But it\’s also like giving me so many other ideas about how else can I bring folks the information that they\’re looking for. So this e-book started out as A few people are asking about this, I\’m going to see how it does. And it\’s done so well that like, you know, it\’s giving me ideas for the next few e-books. So I\’m working on those and a few other things. And I want to roll out in the next year. And I\’m just really excited because it\’s helping so many people. And at the end of the day, like that is like the biggest thing that I want to be able to do. And then also on my own, too, I don\’t feel like burnt out. So I\’m able to show up and be present in the ways I like my audience deserves as well.
Absolutely. Because it is so much easier to be like if you need all this information. I\’ve created this resource for you. Brilliant.
Anything else you want to share with us?
Keep an eye on my social media for the next e-book cause I\’m really excited. And this is again going to be something that\’s applicable for folks on any level. So I want it to be able to reach you wherever. So make sure that you\’re following me on Twitter and Instagram at @blkgirlmanifest.
Awesome. Okay. So here\’s the question that I ask all of my guests. What do you use to manage your period?
I have a few secret weapons. They\’re about to be not-so-secret, which is fine. I\’m happy to share. So the first thing I have like started using in the last year or so and it\’s completely changed. My life has been magnesium. It\’s amazing. So the cramping at the first day was cut, basically, it\’s gone at this point. So I have these like magnesium packets. I send them to you to put it like in the show notes and stuff, but I like them because they\’re individual packets. So even if I get my period and I\’m not home, I can still use it. And you boil some water and like warm it up, whatever, and you fill up a cup and it\’s like equal parts, like hot and cold water with the powder inside of it. And it makes us like just like a water drink. It doesn\’t really taste like anything but getting that magnesium into the body. I don\’t know. It just helps to, like, relax the muscles. I really like taking it if I\’m even if I\’m not on my period and just like feeling kind of achy and not feeling my best, like I like taking it. And it\’s just been amazing. It\’s not like, you know, taking an advil or something that\’s like something that you want to be mindful of. But yeah, I just I love it so much. I just changed my life. I was on the hunt for menstrual products that were gonna work best for me. So I tried the cup, wasn\’t really a fan of it. I don\’t think I really got it. I kind of like hurt myself many times with this. Yeah, it was it was not fun. So I started using Luna pads and my life changed forever. I love Luna Pads because they\’re like the OG period underwear company. And I just feel like they\’re so slept on – we\’re spoiled now. There\’s so many different options of like period underwear. But I fell in love like from the first use. They\’re just like, super easy to you as they come in, like a bunch of really comfy styles. Personally, I really like the security of like boxer briefs, you know, and my boy shorts, the high waisted boy shorts especially. I\’m just like so comfy. Yeah. It\’s just like, I don\’t know. It\’s so nice. I feel like I\’ve noticed a difference in my period from switching to period underwear, which sounds kind of like. Mm hmm. Yeah. And I also really actually like that I don\’t have to insert anything I can just BE.
There\’s something really to that because I\’m tender on my first day. You know? I don\’t really want anything in there.
And it\’s even like it\’s super great for like sleep and stuff and like when I. Especially during the first day or so when I need maybe to do a little bit more movement than I normally would. Just to like get comfortable. It\’s really nice to not have to worry about things sliding out of place or like being dislodged or whatever. So, yeah. Just like I can\’t recommend period underwear enough or even just like those I\’ve seen re-usable just like pads as well. I feel like those will be good starting points for folks that are maybe not sure if they want to invest fully in underwear starting off with the reusable pads or like super good too. And I just like cleaning them. Hasn\’t been a problem either. I just use Bronner\’s soap and wash it in the sink. And then like when my period is done I just like put them in the laundry. And I said, Yeah. I love it.
I think it\’s gonna be like so much more laundry. And I\’m like, there\’s already some extra laundry during your period no matter what, but it\’s panties!
It\’s not it\’s not a big deal and they hold quite a lot. People are always like, oh, but aren\’t I going to bleed through – all I know is they\’re absorbent!
Panties are really an unsung hero. You almost have to try them to trust them and to really realize how great it is. People don\’t want to do anything external because we all think of maxi pads, big huge thirteen-year-old selves, maxi pads and no one wants to go back to that. I could preach about period panties all day. And I\’m so glad you brought up magnesium because magnesium is fantastic too. If you can\’t handle the supplement, you can rub it on your body and it absorbs! And it\’s good for anxiety.
It\’s good for everything. I\’ve taken it for headaches and just like leg again, just like icky. I\’m not on my period just like some other body ailment. I\’m just like getting older or whatever. It\’s amazing. Yeah. I love it. So those two things and then like, if I\’m feeling extra, extra crappy, then like, maybe I\’ll take a bit of CBD oil. But like, honestly, most I\’m good with period underwear and magnesium and maybe some chocolate in the house.
So where can we find you?
Yes. So you can find me like I mentioned on social media for now. you can find me on Instagram and Twitter @blkgirlmanifest
And you can also follow the show Sex Ed in Color on Instagram and Twitter as well @sexedincolor. You can download and subscribe Sex Ed in Color wherever you get your podcast, i-Tunes Spotify Stitcher, wherever you listen to it. And if you are interested in purchasing the e-book, reading some blog post, worrying more about me, you can also find all that information on my website: CameronGlover.com.