THE VAGINA BLOG PODCAST EPISODE 6: Using Pleasure to Heal Trauma with Nicole Syverson

It is so exciting to take back control of our bodies and celebrate!

I love to learn and I have experienced so much healing learning about empowerment and discovery and feeling great in my body and finding my voice and sharing with other women. 

It’s so great to learn from the hard things we go through and then we can more knowledgeably share and help people going through the same thing. You know how lonely and frustrating it was to go through it by yourself and how amazing it is to find someone who has gone through it too.

I started in Massage Therapy and through that process I learned a lot about how to work with my breath. At the age of 18 I was exposed to this entirely different way to experience life and my body. It was the first time that I felt safe and good and experienced pleasure with my body. I started practicing yoga from there.

I did some other jobs, hated them all and ended up in Hawaii. I sought out energy healing, chakra work and path work. I really started diving into my traumas and the pain body and all of the things I was holding onto that were holding me back.

From there I went to India and did teacher training for yoga, then a nutrition certification to learn more about how to care for my body.

It’s been a huge process of learning myself and my body and starting to listen to my body and letting it guide me.

It’s been a process of finding out what’s right for me. 

I used to have extremely painful periods and it was through changing my diet and working on my stress management and emotional processing that I’ve been able to see improvement. 

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So what do you do as Nicole Syverson Coaching?

I love working with female entrepreneurs and leaders that are ambitious and successful to help them connect to themselves, their body, the pleasure and their power and work with them to heal old trauma and emotional/mental blocks to help them get to their next level of success.

Success is super vague, so it’s getting women into feeling empowered in their body, in their pleasure, in their power so they can courageously go into changing, creating and doing great things in this world. Now is the time as women, especially in America, having the privilege and freedom that we have, to take a stand for other women in the world who don’t have the liberties that we do.


I really love supporting women in their healing, getting them out of their own way so they can go be the gift and the strength and the life for other people on this planet.

So much of sex is getting out of our own way, so healing our trauma not only helps the world but our personal lives too.

What is the 1 thing we can all do right now to feel more empowered?

Here’s a few simple options:

Connect with your breath. When you’re in control of your breath, you’re in control of your mind. When you focus on your breath your mind can’t focus on other things. It’s as simple as taking 3-10 intentional breaths before getting out of bed or before a business call. It’s super simple, but it allows you to be in the present moment.

This also a great practice for transitioning throughout the day. As I’m leaving work to pick up kids I start mentally shifting from work mode to mom mode through meditation and breathing. When I take the time to do this with intention, it really helps.

Meditation and intentional breathing doesn\’t have to be a once-a-day practice, it can be many times a day for as long or as short as you need.

Secondly, catch your inner critic and identify it early on. Don’t be afraid to name your inner critic, thank them for their input and then disengage those thoughts. When you’re not aware that you’re having those critical thoughts all day they will run your life. And if you start to become aware and become victim to them, it’s really painful. Naming the inner critic doesn’t disassociate them, but it gives you control over it.

Third is to really nourish your body through pleasurable movement. Walking outside, dance breaks, embracing yourself, self-massage, anything to claim the pleasure you can feel in your body when you’re not criticizing it. Being in your body is where you feel embodied.

We’ve lost the art of self-massage. Rubbing my own hands, my own feet, doing head-rolls is such a great way to wind down and take a small pleasurable moment.

People almost disregard these things because they seem so simple. Like working out, it becomes a habit and a routine and you get results from it. It’s all about the practice of it. 

Same goes for negative thoughts – it becomes a habit. We have to be intentional about stopping our negative thoughts.

How does trauma affect people’s ability to be empowered and confident?

I know trauma is becoming a buzzword right now, but it really does affect people. Often when we picture someone with PTSD we picture a war vet with severe mental illness and PTSD can be caused by so many things. PTSD can be caused by the anxiety of what’s happening in our world, losing a loved one, a divorce, financial stress, childbirth, pregnancy, postpartum, or motherhood in general. There is a lot of trauma that can happen simply by becoming a parent, even though there is so much joy in it as well.

Any time your nervous system gets dis-regulated, it puts you in fight, flight or freeze. If you grew up with a safe space to shake it off, reconnect and come back to homeostasis you might have the tools to do that as an adult but most of us do not. It’s all mental too, we aren’t physically outrunning the bear anymore. The mental stress and fatigue puts us in that same space of fight, flight or freeze.

This is often an epidemic among women. And it’s not necessarily about healing childhood trauma, but present day-to-day trauma that is affecting your nervous system and your reality that you’ve created because of it.

How can we use pleasure to heal trauma?

When you are in a pleasurable state, you feel safe in your body, you feel content. Pleasure isn’t always sexual, it is a state of joy, of easy breathing and when you are in a pleasurable space you are not in stress, you are not in trauma. The more time we spend in a pleasurable and safe state, the more we heal past and present trauma. When we’ve experienced a trauma we create a life truth from it and living in a pleasure state helps us reframe. The more often we come back to that connection to ourselves, the more that we regulate our own nervous system and heal through relationships with ourselves and with others.

And example of this from my own life: I didn’t grow up with my father. I grew up with an abusive step-Father until I was 8, he left and then my mother remarried again to a wonderful step-Father I still have a relationship with. But when I was younger I believed that it was my fault that all of these Fathers were leaving. It affected how and who I dated, which always triggered me feeling unworthy and like everything was my fault. It is still something I have to work on still, but now I recognize it quickly and reframe my thoughts.

It’s so important to remove the shame as well. Simply recognizing that I’m human and I made a mistake is so much less damaging than believing that I’m unworthy or a bad person.

Just like the idea that when you break a bone it grows back stronger, our trauma can be reframed into our glory. Many people find their passion and purpose comes from the voice that happens as a result of working through their trauma.

When do you need a coach and when do you need a therapist?

Therapy Is amazing for processing when it’s a good therapist (same goes for coaches). It’s really about paying attention to yourself and your needs. If you have a diagnosable condition like bi-polar disorder, absolutely see a psychiatrist. A life coach can even be a great supplement to therapy.

Therapy can sometimes turn into repeating the story over and over again. Not every therapist provides the tools you need to reframe and move forward, and that can be a great reason to use both therapy and coaching at the same time.

Working with a nutritionist specific to emotional needs can also be a fantastic addition as well. We carry so much of our emotional health in our gut. You are a whole being, you are not just your mind or not just your stomach. Your emotions can have an impact on your physical health.

Tell us about your pleasure ebook!

I wanted to create something for women that was super simple and ideally a quick fix for women thinking about coaching.

It’s 10 simple ways to build more pleasure in your body to give you some quick results.

How do you like to manage your period?

I really love vaginal steaming and epsom salt baths. Knowing when my period is coming really helps. And I love iron supplements.

Tell us where we can find you!


Private FB Group:

@Nicole Syverson Coaching

Anyone that sees this, please take my offer for a 1 hour clarity call with me to see if coaching is a good fit for you!